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Secret Lovers Monday, May 9, 2011

(Pairing: Sunye/Junsu)

She had successfully displayed a calm and collected façade, which was the fruitful product of spending months trying to put it into perfection, but truth be told she was struggling to keep her suddenly weak knees intact. Although her outward behavior left little to the unwanted suspicions, her frantic heart was really weighing her down in the inside. There was so much going on in her mind and she extremely nervous.

Trying her hardest to steer her vision away from the young man standing beside her, she just focused her utmost attention towards their mentor. Park Jinyoung was sitting on the sofa chair, with an unreadable, estranged expression printed on his face.

“Now, tell me, what is up?” he asked. There was a hint of concern when he voiced that question, but the duo was overwhelmed with anxiety and fear to notice that.

Sunye was simply tongue-tied. She was in deep trouble, she just knew it the moment they were asked to see him. Her eyes almost immediately shot towards Junsu’s beautiful pair. He was looking straight at her, as well. It didn’t seem like he was going to start the talking, and Sunye wanted to kill him! He was the one who willingly promised to explain if they ever get found out, but quite clearly, her boyfriend was scared to his wits at the moment.

Frustrated, and with that little hope to save themselves from disclosure because their intense stare contest would be such a giveaway (she had that minute optimism that Jinyoung hadn’t found them out), she tore away from Kim Junsu’s helpless gaze.

Junsu eventually redeemed himself when he opened up his mouth to speak, “Hyung, what do you mean?” He let out a nervous chuckle.

Pointing his finger at them, he questioned innocently, “You two.”

When there was nil response from either of them, Jinyoung continued, “You know I absolutely hate this when it happens.”

Those words registered in their brains slowly, word by word. As much as he was supportive in whatever his artists wanted to do, he had mentioned the fact that he was not a fan of inter-company relationships, especially between artists. However, hate was such a strong word. Sunye and Junsu were particularly secretive of their relationship because of their boss, but they hadn’t expected him to completely hate their relationship. They thought he would at least be lenient.

Before either of them could even move their tongues, Park Jinyoung continued. “What happened? Did you fight? You two wouldn’t even want to stand near each other. Now, tell me, what is going on?”

Sunye must have looked stupid, and annoyed the hell out of him, because she smiled. It came across as a sarcastic, ignorant smile in the eyes of Park Jinyoung. Kim Junsu was still static, because for some reason, he became some sort of a slowpoke at that moment and it hadn’t came to his realization that their relationship hadn’t been found out.

“You’re smiling?! Yah!”

“PD-nim! Junsu oppa and I are fine now, OK? Don’t worry…” she coaxed, patting her secret boyfriend by his shoulder in a friendly manner. She hadn't done that in quite some time!

They were more than just fine. They were crazy in love, but Park Jinyoung didn’t need to know that.

“Really?”

“Really. I think you’re just being paranoid. Nothing happened,” she assured. “Right?” she asked Junsu, to which he nodded in agreement.

“All the staff noticed your awkwardness, it wasn’t just me,” he replied. “Namyoung even had an idea that you two are secretly dating.”

Feigning a disbelief scoff, both Sunye and Junsu started their endless scheme of lies. They had always believed that their creativity was at its peak when it came to music, but now they discovered that they could possibly be even better at producing fib tales for their boss.

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12:08 AM

Scarred Saturday, April 10, 2010




Min Sunye & Im Seulong
{one-shot}




"What is so hard about putting in just that little bit of trust?!"

The anger and rage were evident to have overwhelmed his entire system from the tone of his voice.

"Look what we've come to. You're siding her!" Sunye, as well, was enraged with so much anger and frustations that she could literally explode.

At one time in her life, she was afraid to let her true feelings show. She didn't mind sacrifices. She didn't mind being the sacrifice, as long as her loved ones were happy. It proved costly.
Sunye had learnt to express everything, whatever the hell she felt.
But it seemed like the little patience and understanding left of her made things difficult.

A certain him found it difficult.

"I don't know why you've to make things so complicated. It's you whom I'm dating, not her, not anyone else." Seulong had calmed down a bit, but he was still at the peak of his frustration.

Where is that trust? he wondered.

He looked at the girl standing before her. She had her fists balled up as if she was going to throw a punch, her eyes showed angst and she was just steaming with anger.

Sometimes he wondered if their relationship was worth to fight for. At times, he couldn't help the lingering thoughts of ending their rocky, tensed and definitely, unhealthy union.

How was he supposed to bear the overjealousy Sunye possessed? How could he live without interacting with an opposite sex just to satisfy her anxious girlfriend?

Where is that trust?

"Men are all the same, fcuking cheaters."

That statement lit up the fire in him even more so.

It wasn't that he was cheating or that he was angry because she was accusing falsely of him. He wouldn't have felt so much anger if it was because of those reasons.

Seulong could see how Sunye was still reeling over that person.

She still loved Seunghyun.

He saved her a sarcastic ring of laughter before he began talking, "Would have saved me so much time if you told me earlier."

A look of realisation crawled onto her fair face.

"Don't start." It was almost a plea.

"Fuck this, fuck everything. Go back to him, I could care less!"

"I don--"

He ran his fingers along his short dark hair in extreme exasperation.

"Sunye, I have told you over and over again, I respect your past! But, fcuking hell. Don't compare me with him! We are not the same. He cheated on you, I'm never gonna!"

She just stayed silent, as he heaved a huge, distressed sigh.

"But you're never gonna stop comparing because you can't get over him."

"Seulong, I--"

He interrupted her once again. "Just, fuck this relationship. Go crawl back to him. I don't need this fuckery to mess up my mind."

And with that, he left.
Sunye just watched as the retreating figure never once looked back at the scene or her.

Her heart sank as the tears began to blur her vision.
For once in a very long time, she felt the guilt.


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8:23 PM

Taking Chances Saturday, April 3, 2010

Youngbae & Sunye
T a k i n g C h a n c e s





"So, what do you have in mind?"

My trains of thoughts were dispersed upon the question coming out of my date's mouth.

"Huh?"

"Sunye..."

Almost immediately, my head shook up and glanced at the boy who was now standing before me. I could swear I heard Youngbae calling out my name.

Unfortunately, to my disappointment, the jerk was nowhere in sight. It was an illusion. I had way too many of that of late for my own good.

Smiling awkwardly at my date, I was hit by the guilt hanging by my shoulders. I was supposed to have fun on this date, and subsequently, make Seungri feel comfortable and happy as well. But I was doing the very contrary. I was too quiet, too preoccupied mentally and my mind was stuck on Youngbae. The date was confirming my doubts, that I had indeed fallen head over heels for my neighbour.

"Are you okay? You seem quiet. Are you not feeling well?" he asked me.

I felt that I was boring the heck out of him. If he weren't a gentleman, he would have fled off the scene. But Seungri was too nice.

"I'm sorry if this has been the most boring date you've ever went to. Wait, it's not an if, I'm pretty sure this is, for sure, the most boring."

Seungri chuckled at my little confession.

"... I am not feeling well. I gotta go... I'm so sorry. I understand if you won't ever go out with me again."

"Youngbae is a lucky guy."

"Yeah, but he's so clueless and stupid. He makes me maddddd."
.
.
.
I gasped in horror after realisation wavered over me. "How'd you--"

"It's pretty obvious how much you like him."

I felt extremely bad at that point. Seeing Seungri's disappointed, yet accepting look made me want to hit myself for being bad.



"Yo, Sunye."

My heart skipped a beat.

I paused for a while, but I regained composure not long after. I seriously needed to shove every single thought about him away, because his face and voice and just everything about him were occupying every available space in my lovesick mind. Definitely not healthy.

I shrugged the delusion off and continued walking to school.

I felt somewhat ridiculous, because it was just the start of the day and already, I was thinking about him. I could possibly explode by the end of the day, due to a Youngbae-overdose. God, help me.

"Sunye, you know I am too awesome to be ignored."

Hah, even his natural cockiness was sounding its way into my system.

It wasn't until after I turned around due to a strong, all-too-familiar grip on my wrist that I realised that he was actually there, not in my dreams, but there, standing right before me, breathing the same Oxygen.

"Wow."

I had no idea why that word was the first thing that came out of my awestruck mouth.

"Wow?" Youngbae had an amused look printed on his smirky face.

Fcuk, I missed him so much that I could just lunge myself onto him and hug him tightly, until he couldn't even heave a breath. I didn't even realise how much I was missing his company, but my heart was racing over a mega kilometre per second as I gazed at his pair of brown eyes, I was afraid it would eventually leap off of my pounding chest.

And to think, it had only been a week since he left for Japan. A WEEK.

"Why are you so quiet?"

... "Hi. Why are you here? Aren't you supposed to be in Japan?"

"Yeah, well, I was supposed to come back eventually, right?"

"But it's only been a week."

A week which seemed like a century, if you ask me.

"Yeah, the holiday was supposed to be for a week."

I scoffed in disbelief. "So Jungmin and Dongjin were just playing with me? I thought you'd be gone for two long months!"

“Why? You miss me? Oh wow, you’re losing your cool, babe. Two long months?” He put much emphasised on how the words came out of my mouth.

HECK TO THE YEAH.

But I just had to keep my ego, hadn’t I?

“Nooooo, I was doing just fine. But now that you’re back again, I’ll have to deal with your annoying self,” I feigned a groan and a disgruntled sigh.

He just smiled at the taste of victory.

“Too bad, because I missed you. I was going to ask you to be my girlfriend, but my confidence is definitely thrown out of the water now.”

I stopped in my tracks and faced the boy who had also halted his steps.

For all I knew, it could have been just another joke coming out of his creative head. After all, Youngbae is a firm believer that pranks do not only belong to April Fool’s Day.

But I couldn’t help it.

There was an overwhelming, strong voice inside my head telling me to stop being the helpless damsel in distress. 'Tell him, or regret.'

I planted my lips on his lips.
I didn't need words. He would understand just fine.

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6:02 PM

Bound Monday, March 29, 2010


B O U N D



CHAPTER ONE:


"Hello Mrs Horvejkul, breakfast’s ready. We also have a surprise for you waiting downstairs."

I glared at Yubin, who was standing by the door, in utter annoyance.

She responded by pointing her index at the shiny, expensive ring, which was sitting very beautifully on my ring finger.

Mother had warned me to never take it off. In her words, I should be "proud" that I now officially belong to a handsome young man, whose excessive wealth and fortune could easily secure the future of my kids and I. Honestly, we might not be as rich as the Thai millionaire's family, but we were well off to start with. I couldn't comprehend how my future wouldn't have been set had I not married Nichkhun.

"I'm excited that you are getting married to Khunnie. I knew one day you'd be together."

Yubin is my sister six years older than me whom I wish at times didn't exist. Unlike poor me, she married the man of her dreams. Yubin was not forced into a stupid marriage. She married her high school sweetheart just last year. If only Khun had an older brother around her age, I probably wouldn’t have to suffer.

"Everyone knows of the cruel agreement made by our parents," I stated the obvious.

"Oh, come on, cheer up. You like him, you just don't know it yet."

I shot another glower at the sneering Yubin. "Are you kidding me? You have no idea how much I wanted to run away from the engagement party."

It was a horrible experience. The realisation of getting engaged to Khun was finally getting into me, and I freaked out. I am going to marry him; the significance of the bold statement finally hit me.

At my words, her taunting smirk immediately fell off. I finally was able to shut her up and kicked some conscience into her brain.

"Sis, it's gonna be okay," she said seriously, with concern and guilt written on her usually mean face. “Love will find its way.”

I would have laughed at the disturbing corny sentence coming out of her. I would have videotaped her saying those words and used it for therapeutic purposes whenever I would get angry and upset in the future. After all, laughing at Yubin would make my day. However nothing about the engagement was a laughing matter.

"No, it's not," I insisted out of pure frustration.

"Remember, you used to have a crush on him."

I made a ‘are-you-kidding-me?’ look. “That was ages ago, and I must have planted my brain on the knees.”


“Oh, what was taking you girls long?” the familiar voice of our mother’s spoke as soon as Yubin and I stepped into the dining room.

I was ready to greet my parents when I noticed a familiar figure joining and enjoying the meal, sitting opposite my baby brother, Yungjae (who was just as annoying as Yubin) and right next to my mom – in short, my seat. I could identify him straight away from his dark auburn-dyed hair and fair complexion. No, in truth, I just knew of his presence even without looking – there was just something about him that always gave me that unpleasant aura. There was no mistake that it was none other than my dreaded fiancé.

"What are you doing here?"

At my seat, with my family.

If I knew my mother would send me a menacing scowl which could send shivers down my spine upon the rude question I had asked Khun, I would have thought twice, shut up and feigned a stupid smile.

"Honey, don't be rude.”

"I'm here to have breakfast with my fiancee's family and send her to school," Khun replied, with a huge fake smile plastered on his face.

"Oh Khunnie is so sweet," of course, came my mother's admiring response. "Khunnie is trying his best, don’t you see that?”

“Sorry,” I said in response. “It’s just that, he’s sitting on my spot... That’s why I got a little sensitive.”

Kinda, but no, not really. It’s his very presence that is making me lose my appetite.

“Oh sorry, Sunye,” Khun said to me, immediately standing up.

Switching to gentleman mode, he ushered me to the seat ever-so-gently and even placed the napkin on my lap.


“Yah, whatever happened to you old sarcastic self? Stop being so nice to me, I know you don’t mean it,” I said frankly, the moment I went inside his beauty of a Lamborghini, which was sitting prettily at the porch of my house.

His erratic behaviour over breakfast made it seem like he was abducted by the aliens and then transformed into one of them. It was out of this world.

He rolled his eyes and much to my relief, became normal again.

“My mother gave me a long, torture of a lecture when she saw pictures of me kissing some random girls at the club last night. Now I have to make up for it.”

I laughed at his confession. “Okay, that makes sense.”

“Do my parents know?” I asked again.

“Yes, did you not see how charming I was acting towards your mother just now? And funny thing is, your mother quickly defended me. Good thing the pictures were from last year and she noticed it.”



"What time do you finish school?" He asked as we arrived at the grounds of Seoul High School.

I sighed in disbelief. "Don't tell me you're picking me up."

"Mother's orders."

"It's okay, you can just lie. I'll get Youngbae to send me home, or something."

He had a lob-sided smirk on.

"That gay you have a crush on?"

"For one last time, he is a friend... Wait, why do I even bother explaining? ... And are you serious? You look way more feminine than he does. If he's gay, then what are you? Ultra gay?"

He resorted to rolling his eyes, after having found no witty comebacks to counteract mine.

"It's alright, I'll just pick you up," Khun insisted. "Who knows if the crazy woman has people to spy on us. And I want to continue being in your mother’s good books."

I sighed, again. This time, with the white flag shamefully raised.

"Fine. See you here at 3. If you're late by even a minute, you'll have to buy me ice-cream."

"Unlike you, I'm a very punctual person, thank you very much."

With one last eye roll at him, I hopped off his car and started walking to my class. It wasn't a pleasant journey. People were staring and whispering at me, not caring even a single bit that I was very aware of them gossiping about me.

Everyone must have found out about my engagement to The It socialite, Nichkhun. These people had no lives. Why couldn't they mind about their own businesses and not butt into others' personal lives?

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7:43 PM

Bound Thursday, March 25, 2010



B O U N D

"... It's not about how much love you have in the beginning
but how much love you build till the end."

Index: [00] [01]

Prologue



I was bound to Nichkhun Horvejkul.

Ever since I was little, my mother never fails to tell me how much she wanted to see the union between him and I, and that she wishes time to pass by faster. It is just her ultimate dream to see us tie the knot and make beautiful princes and princesses of mixed ethnicity.

So, growing up, I always knew there was no chance for me to date other guys - or at least, take the relationship seriously. I genuinely didn’t mind. I obviously didn’t realise how significant the whole arranged marriage was. I have known Khun since I was little, and despite not being on the greatest terms with the arrogant kid for most of the time, I thought it couldn’t be bad. I mean, how could it be? It is not some stranger I was going to call my husband. Okay, I didn’t quite get along with Khun and his annoying self, but come on, everyone wanted to have a piece of the poster boy. He’s good-looking, wealthy, popular and athletic. Even I had to resist the temptation of ogling at him at certain occasions.

But then, I started to develop crushes. I began to fall for other guys, particularly this one boy who makes my heart flutter so much. It sucks because in the end, it is none other than Khun whom I am exchanging vows with – the college boy who thinks he is way too cool to date a supposedly lame high school student like me.

Now that I’m hitting the final years of my teenage years, our mothers are getting busy trying to get our dreaded engagement on track. I am set to be engaged to Nichkhun in three days’ time. Our wedding date has also been set: only two months away (right after I graduate high school!). God, help me.



“I have an idea. Let’s compromise.”

Upon his words, I looked at my childhood frenemy questioningly. Having known him for sixteen long years, I had a gut feeling that it was another bad one coming out of his genius head. His so-called brilliant ideas had thrown us into trouble more times than not, mind you.

But then again, he looked like he was going to suffocate and die in so much pain when our parents informed us that we were going to be engaged very soon, so I had that little belief that he would put out a brilliant idea when he gets very desperate.

“What? You’re going to run away from home?” I half-joked.

He made a face. “No.”

Of course, rich boy couldn’t even spend a day without daddy’s money.

“Then?”

“Sunye, you don’t look like you’re complaining. You must secretly love the idea of marrying me,” he teased, with an annoying smirk carved on his gorgeous face.

I almost choked on my apple juice when that conceited statement made its way into my ears.

“I’d rather get reborn as a stray cat.”

He laughed at my comeback. I couldn’t help but to join in.

“Marrying you doesn’t seem so dready after all. Come to think of it, you’re funny as hell. I’d love to have that sense of humour around... It’s fun seeing you make fun of yourself.”

I rolled my eyes at him. “Let me rephrase that, shall I? This only doesn’t seem like a bad prospect because you’re gonna inherit a shitload of fortune if you do marry me. Come on, we both know that. Personally, you know you prefer all those sophisticated, mature women whom you love having one-night-stands with. Mr Horvejkul, I know you too well.”

Khun smiled knowingly. “You’re clever, what a plus point.”

“I know I am. Anyway, what’s the compromise?”

“Divorce after a year.”

Oh, how I wish it was that simple.

“And what does that do to us? This marriage serves to ensure that the company’s future is set.”

I refused to think that I would give birth to Khun’s son, the future successor of the corporate. I felt nauseous just having that thought.

I learnt a new thing about him. I didn’t know he could read minds.

“Yeah, we’re gonna get you pregnant and have a healthy boy, and then we divorce."

He must be on drugs.

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4:19 PM

Change Thursday, February 18, 2010



For a moment, I thought I liked him. Well, no, I had been in deep contemplation for weeks! And I really did think I had fallen head over heels for him. What came over my being that made me realise that it was merely longing for a stolen best friend, I don't remember. I just woke up one day, smiling to myself, with voices inside my head screaming, "Sunye, get over it. You don't like him. Stop confusing yourself."

I met Jokwon when I was a 6-year-old. He possessed some degree of feminity even back then when we were in Kindergarden. I could never forget our first meeting, because he made such an ever-lasting first impression on me - on everyone, in fact. His hair was neatly combed, he had such geeky-looking glasses he wore his pants high, but the deal was his extremely bright pink scarf, which looked like her mother had mistakenly put her scarf on her son. It was out of place.

I was the centre of attention, and he was a mere background, but we just clicked. We became the best of friends. Okay, sure, the initial times of our life-long friendship were mostly of me bossing him around. But from then on, I softened out on him, and we were inseparable.

Throughout elementary, junior high, and middle high, we more than maintained our friendship. Nothing could waver it, nothing. No matter what we would still have each other in the end. I didn't think we could even manage life without the other's presence and existence. That was just how tight we were.

Came in high school, and that was when things started to change. A girl came along and Jokwon was instantly awed and amazed by her. If I knew what would happen, I would not have helped him and cared to even bother introducing themselves to one another. If I knew they would have undying and irresistible chemistry, I would have made them despise each other until they couldn't even bear to see the other.

But I didn't. I underestimated her, and it proved costly. I had no idea she could cause so much damage and strain between Jokwon and I - when I thought we were invincible.

At first, he would only see her when he had the time. Her importance was nothing compared to what I was to him. But gradually, Jokwon started seeing her more and more, and eventually, he was spending time with her more than me.

I was pushed to the side and she was officially replacing me.



I was at the peak of my frustration. I hated the sight of them together. I couldn't accept that I was non-significant to Jokwon anymore. I was jealous. The bitter sensation I felt seeing the couple together confirmed myself that I had fallen in love with Jokwon.

I mean, what else could it be?
I was jealous, I hated the girl.
Surely, I liked him. Right?


But no, now I've come to my senses and really, it wasn't love I had towards him - at least, not more than the love for a dear friend I very much cared about. I had become possessive of him, since he had been with me for so long, that I forgot that Jokwon doesn't have my name stamped all over him.

The saddest thing coming out from all this is the fact that our friendship will never be the same anymore. Change is the law of life, and people change with time.






Yes, I am aware that the execution was poor. Sorry....
I MISS KWONYE.

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9:39 PM

Surprise Tuesday, February 9, 2010

Surprise; Yoochun/Sunye




My dearest cousin, Yeeun, had invited troubles to me more times than not.

Back when we were kids, our families moved to a new neighbourhood. I remember there was a girl being bullied when I went to the Joi Playgroud with Yeeun one day - in hopes of finding new playmates since I had always been a friendly girl. I just watched as they threw some sand at her, with quite a handful degree of guilt, and the poor little girl was crying so hard. She was bawling, crying for her mummy. I may be just ten, but I knew the wrong and right. As much as I wanted to stand up for her, I was rational enough to think that I would get in trouble by interfering. The bullies would haunt me too. Unfortunately, my cousin, Yeeun, was too outspoken for my liking, even back then when we were little kids. True to her character, she stood up for the girl. Picking up a rock, she threw it with full force onto the sweaty head of the big, chubby leader of the bully gang. She definitely suited the role, by the way. The way her eyes piercing holes into mine was downright scary and chilling. Yeeun should have told me her plan, if indeed it was, because she got me in deep shit. I remember her shouting at me "Run! Run!", but you see, I was too engrossed into the whole scene, and I was too slow to react. By the time I started to move my feet, the bullies were already surrounding me. Stupid Yeeun didn't even come back to help. Needless to say, I was harassed by these kids. Froggie, Yeeun and I used to call the leader, pulled my hair like she was participating in some kind of tug and war, and it was just a horrible nightmare. We never went to the playground again. But guess what? When Yeeun and I started schooling, we found out that all five bullies went to the same school.

I was thirteen when I had the most embarrassing moments in my life. At that time, girls my age had already began bursting into the dating scene. I was probably the only one still left behind in the phase of "Girls rule, boys drool". Even when my girl friends were busy gushing about their boyfriends and the oh-so-romantic dates, I was never interested in those, according to my dictionary, useless and childish stuff. I hated how immature most boys I knew were. They made me puke. Unfortunately for me, my sexist personality brought undesirable consequences. I was walking along the hallway one day when I heard murmurs by everyone, whispering to one another with their eyes looking at me with a mixture of amusement, shocked and horror. At first I thought there was something wrong with my attire, but really, there was nothing unusual with my outfit. What was even weirder was the fact that almost all the girls were avoiding me. I learnt the cause of all the weird behaviour when some random girl screamed when she saw me entering the loo. I initially thought she got possessed. She screamed, "AH! FREAK. GO AWAY!" Still believing her body was indeed taken over by some evil demon, I quickly made my way towards the door to get some emergency help. But I stopped in my tracks entirely when I heard her say, "Yah, you lesbian! Get away from me." It turned out, Yeeun was pissed at me when I stole her pink skirt and generously started telling everyone I was a lesbian. Words spread like wildfire, and the next thing we knew, everyone in the school heard about it and stupidly enough, believed in that rumour. I was It's a very homophobic country I live in, and just imagine the backlash I received. Just because I hated boys, they would think I was a lesbian? Stupid. I was never a patient person, and I knew waiting for the rumor to cease would take eternity. So I began dating some random guy, a nerd named Jin, just to get the absurd idea out of their heads and to once and for all, dispell the rumour. I chose him, because quite frankly, everyone else thought I was really homo. And I had to ask him out. Also, Yeeun had to treat me lunch the entire month.

My loatheness towards boys did however die down in the upcoming years when the boys hit puberty. They were still childish, but physically they had grown into such sex gods. Okay, not for the unfortunate ones, but let's focus on the good ones. The boys whom I had known to be so short started getting so tall, and their voice suddenly became manly. My first crush was Kim Jaejoong. Everyone liked him, and I wasn't an exception. He was our school's Kingka - you know, your typical perfect senior with such gorgeous face, and had extreme talent in everything he did. But when he graduated, Choi Seunghyun was up next to the throne, and I went head over heels for him. I just really had a thing for Kingkas. But my taste in guys changed after a certain someone pressed his lips against mine - no, more like raped my virgin, untouched lips.. Heck, a lot about me changed.

The good thing was my first kiss was owned by someone gorgeous, a sex god, I'd like to refer. I felt real grateful that he looked nothing like my first (regrettable) boyfriend, Jin. Oh thank lord for that! You may ask me, "So what? Good news. You kissed a hot sex god." The kiss was a bad, bad mistake. The lips rapist, Park Yoochun, was no one else. He happened to be Yeeun's very own boyfriend. Oh, boy. I put my finger to the slippery floor for the blame.

When Yeeun brought Yoochun to meet me, I was not the least bit impressed by the new boyfriend of hers. Not that I was by the previous ones, either. I had concluded by meeting her third boyfriend that she had terrible taste in guys. She obviously cared for the appearance more than anything; she did not care how arrogant and rude they could be. Yoochun was the 6th, but unlike those previous boys, I actually knew him. My classmate. Again, I was not surprised that she chose a guy with such snobby, selfish personality. He was precisely her type. God, why couldn't Yeeun see it through her thick head?

To put it simply: I didn't like Yoochun, in fact, his personality was one I really loathed. Okay, so, I did feel a little twitch of something when his sexy lips touched mine, but that was just it, okay?
That was just it...

But damn, my head had to mess with me.

I actually... kind of, sort of... fell for him.

Yeeun had no idea what happened. She had no idea her dearest cousin and boyfriend actually kissed. But she wasn't stupid enough to not notice the awkward phase Yoochun and I were having. You might be thinking, "Hey, that was just a little contact. It doesn't signal the end of the world."

Easier said than done.

I felt so bad and it just seemed that if Yeeun found out, it would signal the end of the world. Yoochun was nowhere near being helpful because very contrary from my expectation, coming from a supposedly cool guy like him, he actually avoided me like he would actually die from talking to me. I didn't plan on talking to him after the horrendous accident either, but couldn't he make it at least a wee bit less obvious?



Shock came to me when I least expected it.

Park Yeeun stormed into my room one day, crying her heart out. The wet, spoiled mascara ruined her usually gorgeous face, which was overwhelmed with her rivers of tears. It was a Sunday morning, and just waking up from bed, it didn't occur to me that I was the one who made her cry.

"Hey, what's wrong? Why are you upset?" Oblivious me asked her, as I hopped off from my bed.
I received a glare in return - a menacing one which sent shivers down my spine.

After the mentioned troubles she gave me growing up with her (among many others), you might think she would, at least, have thought this thoroughly enough before confronting me, and not use any violence to resolve the matter, wouldn't you? I mean, wouldn't it be crazy for your super tight cousin to scathe you just because you accidentally did something, albeit wrong, basically meaning nothing at all? It was just a one-time incident, damn it!

But, hey, we're bound to be greeted with a mega surprise at some point in our lives.

Yeeun, overflowing with emotions, slapped me across the face. Hard and cold.

For a moment, I just stood there, feeling dumbfounded by the event unfolding right before my eyes. The pint-drop silence was creeping in, and never in my life had I felt so tense. Yeeun was really mad at me; she could tear me apart just driven by her rage.

"What are you doing?!" I asked, although I had somewhat expected it to be about Yoochun.

"You cheated with my boyfriend!"

"I did not!!" And it was true.

However, she unfortunately landed so far away on delusional kingdom.

"I saw pictures of you two kissing. It's all over the school's website. Do you know how embarrassed I am? I've become the fool!"

At that point, it felt extremely surreal to me. Yeeun and I had never been in such situation, where things seemed beyond repairable between us.

"What pictures?"

"How could you do this to me?" she said, tears even more actively scrolling down her cheeks.

"That one time was an accident. I slipped and--"

"Gosh, you're still lying? Come clean, Sunye. The truth is right here, stop making lies. Stop making me the fool!" Yeeun practically shouted at me, not bothering to even listen to my explanation.

"I should have known, I should have known. How could I be so stupid? I should have known from the way you act, I should have known when I saw your pictures in his phone. I actually believed him when he said he felt very protective of you since you are like a sister to him and that he hated it when guys got near you... Gosh, I'm so stupid."

"But--" I stopped when her statements dawned on me.

Wait, what?

"Are you happy now?!"

Before I could even move my tongue, Yeeun had already slammed the door hard and left.


I was greeted by stares the next morning at school. They labelled me as the back-stabber, boyfriend stealer and ungrateful slut. I couldn't exactly blame them. If I were to see a picture of a girl kissing her cousin's boyfriend, I would have talked some trash about her - especially when her cousin is a popular girl in the school. Yes, everyone knew Yeeun. I must have been known as the ultimate villain.

I thought that I would become more comfortable entering class, escaping the smirks, stares and murmurs, but I forgot that I was in one class with Yoochun. It slipped from my mind that he was sitting right behind me.



"Yeeun found out."

Awkward conversations always start with an obvious statement.

"Yeah, she's mad."

I quickened my pace, hoping to lose track of him. Already, the fellow students were whispering into one another's ears. It was even fuelling things. Yoochun and I appeared as if we were walking home together and that was like adding oil to fire.

"So you're avoiding me now?"

I stopped in my tracks and turned around to face him. He was quite tall, hence I had to crane my neck just to get a clear view of his eyes and gorgeous face.

"Pe-people will start talking." For some reason, I stuttered. I somehow was taken aback by the anxiety building up in me.

He scoffed. "To hell with whatever they're saying."

"Look, you were avoiding me then, what's with the sudden approach?" I stated the obvious.

I sounded like a mean bitch, but everything was such a mess and I really didn’t feel the need to talk to anyone – especially not him. Yeeun avoiding me, everyone glaring at me; to sum it up: today was horrible.

“Why are you being a bitch?”

“Well, if you were put in my shoes, you would understand.”

He just looked at me and smirked annoyingly.

That. That was how he used to act around me. So we were over the awkward phase now?

“Why would anyone want to post those pictures up on the school website? I don’t remember making enemies,” I said, angered, after a while. “Yeeun’s avoiding me like I’m some sort of plague, my bet is, she’s done the same to you.”

He nodded in approval. “But it doesn’t matter anyway.

In response, I looked at him questioningly.

“We broke-up.”

... “Why?” Please let it not be true. Please please please.

I received a sweet smile in return. “Knowing Yeeun, she must have screamed it right into your face. So, Sunye, stop acting oblivious. It makes me laugh – in a bad way.”

If there was one thing about Yoochun I was aware of was how he always managed to make me at loss for words.

“I know it’s always your dream to have someone confessing his feelings like those in movies,--”

He took a moment as he looked at me seriously. I must have looked like a really healthy red tomato. For some reason, the sudden heat I felt all over my face overwhelmed my entire system. I was nervous. I didn’t know why, but I was damn nervous.

“--But I really have no choice. I wanted to make this special, knowing how very... picky... you are.”

“ARE YOU TELLING ME YOU LIKE ME?”

I seriously had no idea where the energy came from.

Just like that, I attracted even more attention. I had concluded that Yeeun would never ever talk to me again.


Everything felt so surreal to me. I felt like some goddamn overrated actress starring in an equally overrated and cliché romantic comedy.

Whether it was my pride or my guilt, I rejected him right at the spot. I must have my brain planted on my knees for not thinking of the consequences ensuing right after, having caused a scene in front of a lot of fellow students. For a whole week, ‘Sunye rejecting Yoochun’ was the topic of the school and teenagers in the town. I had become a celebrity. Okay, kidding. But for majority of the part, it did turn out for the best. Yeeun and I were back on terms again, and I was not being blamed as the, um, slut. However, Yoochun received the short ends of things and people now recognised him as the ultimate villain – the one who was causing the strains between Yeeun and I.

I felt bad. And the tiny bit of feeling I had for him grew like wildfire. I couldn’t stop thinking about him. Literally.

I did try to make amends and try to apologize, but he brushed me off every single time. He ignored me, he ignored my very existence. It hurt so much.


At one point, I actually lost control of my legs. Before I knew it, I had already run all the way from my house to the basketball arena around our neighbourhood where he played most afternoons.

I was in denial for the longest time, but reaching that point, I had succumbed to defeat. I had conceded the fact that I really had fallen head over heels over this boy. Just watching him play made me smile from ear to ear. And to think, I hated sports.

He looked surprised to see me standing there, staring right back at him, but he regained composure after that. Quickly averting his eyes away, yet again, like how I was no one he knew, he continued playing with his friends.
I was quicked to approach him when they finished the game.

“Yoochun...”

He wanted to ignore me, but his friends made him stay and talk to me.

“What do you want?”

“I’m sorry.”

Couldn’t he see that I missed him? That I hated the fact that he was not talking to me anymore?
I was going crazy, and he didn't notice that?

But there was no response from him, and the indifferent look on his face made my heart drop, in a bad way.

I lost it and cried uncontrollably. It was damn embarrassing, but I couldn’t care less. Park Yoochun was ignoring me, damnit!

... “Do you seriously hate me now?”

Suddenly, there was a pair of hands wrapping themselves around my body, and I was engulfed with warmth. Yoochun hugged me as tight as it could possibly get, and I felt a smile carved on my wet face.

“I really like you!” I couldn’t hold it in any longer. There, I said it!

“Damn, Sunye!”

Wait, his hands were no longer embracing me.

“Why?”

“If I could hold it in any longer, just a little longer damn it! But it just makes me weak to see you cry, and I give in so easily!”

“What are you saying?”


If I knew everything was planned, I would have went as far as going out of South Korea, just to ignore him back. It turned out that he was purposely not talking to me for a major reason: he was going to surprise me on my birthday, which was in a week’s time. He was going to ask me to be his girlfriend!


“So everything is fake?” I asked, fuming.

“Not everything, of course. Yeeun and I did date. Yeeun did find out about those pictures, and me liking you. And we did break-up. That all happened. And you also did reject me,” he explained.

I grinned at that.

He continued, “Yeeun approached me during the dreadful time when we weren’t talking, and told me about how so obviously in love her cousin is with yours truly. And believe it or not, she masterminded this whole plan with me.”

“What?!” I was in utter shock. Yeeun, out of people!

“But I just ruined the surprise. Bummer." Yoochun sounded extremely disappointed.

After successfully reaching for my hand, he intertwined his fingers with mine. I felt the butterflies at the pit of my stomach.

Upon the realisation that he actually planned something special for me, I had a broad smile on. I was smiling too much that it hurt. I was overwhelmed with delight, to say the least.

“Baby, take comfort in the fact that I had never ever cried for any other boy before. That just now was the first. Feel special.”

He rolled his eyes and let out a scoff. “Like you had a boyfriend before.”

"I did! Once!"

"Really?" There was concern written on his face.

"Yeap..." So what if it was Jin, it stiill counted.

His face turned very sour.

"Are you serious?! You dated a lot of people, my cousin, included!" I fired at him before he could complain.








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